ACT I : THE BEGINNING OF THE END (continued)

Having Met with the saner half of the group, and my so wonderfully written post , I know you are dying to wait for the part two of this post. So here it goes…

Supriya Raut alias belleza: I am starting with her today for a special reason. It’s her birthday today!!! So how old is she today - 8??? Or is it 5?? Yeah that’s the correct age. That’s how she thinks… just like a kid. Wish I could think like that. Everything is either White or Black according to her. Actually it’s just White (the reason that her tear gates are forced to open so very often). But that’s what makes her such a good friend. But one of the best benefits of me being her friend is when we share food. (By sharing I mean we have 90 to 10 share). She doesn’t like chocolates, cakes, sweets, most of the sweet dishes… and the list is never ending. No wonder she is not allowed in rides which have a weight limit). But again looking at her one would never wonder that she can beat me in eating Lays. Yes she is the actual proof that “no one can eat just one”. Another thing she loves is to dance. She was our choreographer and did a very difficult but good job to manage and teach us dance. She was our Saroj Khan (I am sure you can notice the physical resemblance they have). She actually was enjoying leading us so much that finally she confessed “I am a Boy” (Yes suppu I know I am at least going to trouble u with that 10000000 times more). Describing her would be incomplete if I don’t mention two most important people in her life – Tashu, her partner in shopping (Natasha Lobo that is, who I having met just once know her full history….) and Mr. Raut (Nopes not talking bout her Dad). Yes Suppu Everyone knows Charusheela Agashe . Don’t give me (dandiya looks) looks … maybe “I was thinking of something else”.

Swapnil Raut alias FALCON: He is the guy who has almost done everything. Almost been suspended almost fought almost thrown people down from 3rd floor … but again it’s all just almost… He is one of the most helpful guys in groupware (Ya Miss Raut has special concessions here also and again am not talking bout his sister). Ya he did try to help us with our lotus problems but unfortunately “uska logic alag hai”. A great planner but unfortunately with groupware people most of the plans flop. According to His logic poultry, fish, chocolate, dairy products and everything he likes is healthy food. (Yes swap that shows in your paunch). His only dream (apart from Ms. Raut) is going to California USA not for the reasons Sanket and Panku want to go but to do his MS. His GOD is Dilip Oak and is always on the look out for increasing Oak’s disciples (What’s the commission rate swap??? Maybe I too can reap some money) Swapnil’s love for super bikes and cars has made someone in groupware suddenly take keen interest in it. Don’t worry swap its not your fault don’t get all - “What did I do?” on me.

Utkarsh Raka alias - - - - - : Yes the first point which comes to mind when we think of utkarsh is his love for animals. No not because of he was an active member of PETA but because of his hard core veggi nature. A really outgoing guy with a flare of making friends but is touchy on certain topics (actually many). Active member of Marwari clubs.
His unfortunate transfer to Banglore caused Akeli to become Paheli( to find out who is paheli read first blog). Now that he has moved out of IBM, My monthly budgets are all screwed up now that we no longer get a 10% discount on everything be it dinners or clothes or underwear. Also I would like to mention that this guy is a net freak. Yes he used to be online from 9 in the morning to 4.30 in the evening(the time NSE closes) But the thing I will miss most is going to be the occasional meeting his pretty marwari friends.

Sneha Jain alias looney weirdo: Undoubtedly the most knowledgeable person in Groupware, so much so that she even teaches her seniors. (FYI: In Groupware, knowledge doesn’t mean your in-depth knowledge in technical topics but how you know about “the birds and bees”). Even though she has not yet taken her would-be’s name her alias sure says it. Yes!! She has fallen head over heals over weirdo personified, and Sneha’s love for him is seen when she calls him (and other people she likes) with sweet pet names like “sadu” and “ghatiya”. One word of advice, don’t ever mess with this person (please note the use of person), she is not called “The rock” for nothing, with her sharpest weapon being her nails. But she is much stronger inside. A great friend, really adjusting very well to every situation. She might bug us sometimes but is the best debugger- solving all the technical as well as personal bugs in our life. The only complain we have with her is that she never used to come out with all of us. But at last she did come to Mulshi with us. And there we realized why she didn’t come before. She was just waiting for the perfect place to come out of the closet and how!! The other reason that stopped her from coming with us was her Bro (because of serious threats to my life I haven’t quoted Bro) and Shruti. Ahh Shruti (now an adopted member) - ray of sunshine, a hope in dying faith. (At least now do I get a good comment??). Last but not the least I would like to mention her great sense of humor which spans over two whole topics.But yes she has definitely brought happiness (and gayism) in our group.

Gauri Chiplunkar alias ------: I still remember Gauri in the good old days when she was a really silent girl with lot of knowledge. Then one day her cell got lost (as in I hid it). The girl who used to wait till maximum 6.00 pm waited till 9.00pm… and the rest is history. She is one of the prettier girls in groupware who made a fashion statement by getting a really different haircut which was soon followed by other girls ( by different I mean a really, really different). She made efficient use of the office utilities (I mean the phone) and made sure every minute she used to spend in office was productive (I still have your photo in which you were sleeping on the chair). But jokes apart she is one of the most genuine girls I have ever seen. She always makes decisions on impulse which sometimes lands her in trouble (for example Sourabh). Her usage of “what scrap” instead of “what crap” became such a cult among us that even my other friends (nowhere related to groupware) also have started using it. She plays a lot of games especially dumb charades. (She did guess Reshma ki Jawani). Now that she is shifted to Ozone we really miss her intellectual “gauri jokes” (I hope people understand what intellectual really stands for). But at the brighter side , her sister and her would-be family in four years (with the blessings of tuka, vithal harshad and anu) stay in Aundh, thanks to which she is more often there than Swapnil(apparently who lives in Aundh too). This makes us(Aundh residents) fortunate few to experience “gauri jokes” from time to time.

Sourabh Phanase alais - - - - - : Yes numerology is the reason because of which his name is so funnily spelled. Well Sourabh, let me remember how he is - especially since he blessed the office with his presence like a year ago??? But if rumors are to be believed he will be coming to office more often since Addy got a job in Reliance. But then again there was news that he had patched up things with Vikrant so I highly doubt when we would see him next. Yes he too is those types. By those types I mean a guy who really knows how to be a good friend. Always there to help you in any way he can. But this is what lands him into trouble sometimes or in other words Ms G turns all Ms J. Not a minute will pass in his company which is devoid of a joke. One of the funniest guys I have ever met and in the words of his better half “his humor is his USP”. He too in the first 10 days of training was so shy that no one even remembered who he was., and now even the aunties who sit around us, just wait for the day he comes to office to have a good hearted laugh. Yeah especially aunties/teachers, because his jokes are targeted towards a matured audience. The matter of his jokes coupled with his innocent expressions would even make the dead people laugh in their graves. One can spot him easily because of his energy and liveliness (and mind you in groupware that’s tough) but I guess even easier to notice is the vein on his forehead and his artistic nose. I am really glad that he too ended up in groupware otherwise we would have never got the chance to meet such an intelligent (Yes he was class topper twice), funny guy with a wonderful heart.

Anuradha Mohan alias Pentacle: This is the second most awaited description since I am the one who is describing (but sorry Sneha and Suppu no fire/smoke here). Anu is the only girl from groupware I knew before we joined IBM. I had met her once before at a Party. It was more like a friends place but party sounds much cooler. Oh!! I mean Sophisticated. Yes the one word which will come to our mind when we look at her. (And this time it’s with a positive connotation). She is one of the nicest girls I have met; always trying to be kind and polite with everyone so much so that now according to the Groupware rulebook if a joke is cracked and she is the only one who laughs then you can’t call it funny. She is very diplomatic and always politically correct. But I guess her balancing act is restricted to her words only. She is the most unbalanced person on ground I have ever seen. Slips and falls so often that the saying” giri hui ladki” is very apt to her. Also she can be called “pahuchi hui ladki”. And why I say that just ask her which her favorite advertisement is. One of the lesser known facts about her is that she talks to herself. Especially when she drives the car.(For once wearing the seat belt doesn’t seem such a bad idea). If Sneha has nails Anu has sarcasm as her ultimate weapon. And might I add she knows how to use it very well. One of the most loyal person in Groupware (the only loyal person) to the company the ill effects of which I have to bear. I have to wait for “5 min“, everyday where 5 min tends to infinity. But then again to have our usual battle of wits and serious discussions on “world peace” I don’t mind waiting for those “5 min”(most of the times).

Achin Gupta alias - - - - -: Here goes the most awaited description. Achin during the first week of training was this focused guy who I thought was really technically sound. And this thought became more firm when I realized that he was one of the 5 guys short listed by google. I am glad that he did not clear otherwise we wouldn’t have had met this bundle of energy packed in a small package also called “chotu”. Seeing his serious and calm nature, Suppu and I placed a bet on turning him into one of us. Little did we know what we were getting our selves into? First of all let me tell you all this guy has got the gift of the gab(and a loud voice especially while talking on the mobile). It was really strange and funny that we used to see him with different men everyday outside the canteen. It was later that we realized that it was the credit card people to whom according to a friend he was “ chuna laga raha hai”. Yes he’s really good at it.(that’s why he has got double the credit amount than us). Unfortunately all his technical knowledge is going to go to waste when he does his MBA. But I guess if he wouldn’t do an MBA it would be a waste of his natural talents. His other talents (Suitable for viewers of all ages)include his witty sense of humor and his good hearing capabilities (always hears statements which can be converted to double meaning jokes). All said and done I think he is one of the most talented guys in groupware.

That’s it!! Here it is All out in the open. Doesn’t it seem like the beginning of the end of sanity. Well with all the coming posts and comments you will further realize why I titled my first blog this. Most people must be guessing (actually only the intelligent ones) that I had mentioned 17 people but described only 16. The person missing is me – Nitesh Vachhani alias KARMA. That’s because being the humble guy I am, I don’t believe in praising myself. So, I haven’t described anything about myself? Nah think again. The reason being “One is known by the company he keeps” and I can’t Thank God enough to keep me in the company of the most wonderful people in this world.

ACT I : THE BEGINNING OF THE END

There are dates like 4th July 1776, 6th August 1942, 15th August 1947, 20th December 1984(my B’day J)...and then there is 18th August 2006 – The beginning of the end. The end of sanity that is . . . IBM made the mistake of putting us 17 ”exhibits” together in one department- the hottest cutting edge technology LOTUS NOTES aka Groupware. Cutting edge because the only thing its cutting thru is IBM profits by keeping such a large group of talented people on bench or as they call in not deployed and paying them to party. But after 6 months and 100 parties later the boredom starts setting in so what does one do? Start a Common Blog. And what will the blog be about? A place where sophisticated, highly qualified engineers share their knowledge and views on Lotus and upcoming technologies… Yeah Right

So just like every play one reads there is an introduction of characters. In our case let’s introduce the samples of Groupware.

Anuja Kulkarni alias Anuja : She played the heroine’s friend in the play which was part of our soft skills training. One of the sweetest girl you would ever meet. Always there to help everyone and never seen her speak harshly to anyone. Now since I can’t find anything bad to write bout her lets move on to other people. A great singer (no sarcasm this time) and also can be called the chatting queen. She has got great score in CAT even without studying. She has always helped me in my so called quest to get into Jamnalal Bajaj by giving me mock CET papers. (I hope this much is enough to get the next mock paper)

Sapna Agarwal alias Paheli : Ya that’s what she is a big paheli to all of us. Can be described as the most reserved in groupware but yes very observant. Playing heroine’s mother (at her own will ) in the play, just went on to strengthen our ( or lets say just mine) view about her, of she being a typical traditional marwari girl whos “only going to wear sarees after marriage.”
And for some reasons unknown likes to give titanic poses and sit on horses with GIRLS only. But ya - she‘s already engaged to as we like to call him “Mirchi seth”

Pankaj Kapoor alias - - - - - : The “most handsome guy of groupware”- a proper Punjabi munda stealing the hearts of many girls - girls here refers to only groupware girls and of course as the blog suggests demented (Pankaj don’t mind). The biggest shock according to Anu (which has mentioned atleast 17 times) is his love for animated movies and his devotion towards cartoon network and pogo - Ask Sanket his mate I mean his roommate who after long wait got Tata sky few days ago but ends up seeing pokemon .
Pankaj whos always in for absolutely anything (except stuff which involves physical activity) has by now realized that planning in groupware ends in a cancelled plan and says ”mujhe tumpe bharosa nahi” and so has decided to tread un-trodden paths in solitude.

Anup Holey alias - - - - - : This guys first claim to fame was “Patils cant talk to unmarried women” … Poor guy but it did definitely benefit his other male friends like me who did a swell job of being the official messenger between him and all the unmarried girls in this world. But slowly came out of his shell and has reached such great heights that Abhijit has to bodyguard him especially after the traumatic “physical assault”, but jokes apart in my view undoubtedly the nicest guy (sorry Achin) in groupware. Anup is also to be credited for bringing meaningful poetry by which I mean his “meaningful, multi-layered, thought provoking (yes one of the thoughts was to push him in the well)” shayaris. Now in Hyderabad he is enjoying his physical assaults.

Abhijit Galgalikar alias - - - -: Someone who was always there with us in most of our outings and was always great fun to be with. A very simple guy but very special. He has got a good sense of humor, when he decides something he can really go after that (except Gym) One of his greatest love is (no, no not Prachi ) is Marathi literature. He is fond of all kind of music, and is very intelligent (100% in 610 and 97% in 611). To know more about Abhijit refer to Anup’s description… both have really similar nature but Abhijit is yet to face assault...He too is in Hyderabad and is hooked on to most of the hindi shows especially KBC.

Sanket Khandkar alias Maazzz : This guy could have had easily win the most aloof guy award in Groupware if the poll was to be conducted in November, But then PL started and he had all the time in the world. It was in these two months that we realized that he was one of the funniest guys of groupware. His wise ass comments always cracks us up. But his most famous creation “tu Shivaji” gives away this guys attitude towards life and others. Of course when we talk about Sanket we cannot not talk bout his great dancing skills and his trademark “toh kya” expression. An Oscar is still due for his memorable performance in “aaj kal tere mere….” And of course I should also mention Pankaj (are you’ll happy now).

Sachin Kagalkar alias - - - - : Before anything else let me tell you this guy “only laughs on serious jokes.” He was one of the very few people in groupware who was always ready to go out and have a good time… but I guess he enjoyed most when Sneha - (no no don’t get weird ideas) all she was doing was OA(over acting) while playing dumb charades. The person who used to come first to office and go home last – yeah he did work a lot, his orkut scraps being the proof. He is also famous for terrorizing children by which I mean Supriya and me. Now in Banglore is enjoying his life in tranquility away from the great Groupware Tamasha.

Prachi Bhadekar alias Priyanka : and why Priyanka just ask Sourabh. The greatest quality which I admire and share with her (apart from our size that is) is her self esteem and self confidence. The last 5 months most of the times one can find her doing word lists for GRE. Don’t really know why she needs to study so much with the kind of memory she has. She loves to dance (must I add is really good at it) but something which is much greater is her courage to dance even with a broken foot. Also a lot of people want to go home from office with her(especially those who don’t have mobiles with radio) because of her singing which starts as soon as you turn the ignition of your vehicle and stops as soon as u turn your vehicle off.

Well this is less than half the total number of people in the group(ware) . Today’s work(this post) is more than the amount of work I have done in 6 months. The rest of it tomorrow and by tomorrow I mean next working day.